Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers

By Tim McDonald,
National Golf Editor

For those of you unfortunate enough to live in the North, you must be salivating at the thought of the spring golf season.

Hold on, Tiger. You ain't the man you used to be. You can't just jump up and go straight to the golf course after a long winter of sloth and mold.

Now, you will find any number of charlatans willing to sell you their total golf fitness regimens. These sleazoids always assume you're a golfer interested in a cleaner, healthier way of living and golfing. I've seen you out on the course, and I know that's not the sort of thing you're "into."

So here is my total golf fitness regimen for the "real" golfer:

• For God's sake, you have to strengthen your core! This involves eating really hard food, like jawbreakers. Eat a bag of those and have your neighbor punch you in the gut to see if your core is all it can be.

Options: Month-old fudge, Purina Dog Chow, pine bark.

• You also have to really work your obliques, I mean really work the hell out of them. Here's the perfect exercise for that. Lie flat on your back with knees bent slightly wider than your hips. If you have really fat hips, you're either going to have to really stretch your knees like in a cartoon, like The Elastic Man from India, or just skip this exercise. In fact, if you have really fat hips, just skip playing golf, nobody wants to see you out on the course.

Now, you slim-hipped people reach your hands to the ceiling like you're crying out for the Lord Jesus Christ to spare you from your miserable existence. You can hold light hand-weights, or not. What do I care? Lift your head and chest toward the ceiling and rotate to reach both hands just outside of your fat, right knee. Repeat on the left side. Now, take a breather. Ask Christ for forgiveness.

• Breathing exercises: Breathing properly and deeply is critical, especially for those tense moments on the course when normally you would start crying.
This deep-breathing exercise involves attending your local adult movie house, or calling up one of those sites on your Internet browser. Follow your instincts. It's either that or follow mine, and then you're looking at jail time.
• Horizontal abduction/adduction: I can't give you much help here, because I always get "horizontal" confused with "vertical," and I have no idea what adduction is. Who came up with that word, anyway? It's a stupid word and should be eliminated from the English language, if it's even English.

• Standing hip rotation: Don't do this. It makes you look like a girl.

• Alcohol fitness: How many times have you lost $2 Nassaus because while you were getting hamboned, your playing partners were just holding up that bottle of Jack Black pretending to drink?

Well, no need to waste good liquor. You can still drink and maintain your competitive edge. You just need to build up a tolerance. Stand upright in a dark closet, with a wide stance, and suck it down. Keep drinking until your wife leaves you.

• Aerobics: Ha! Don't make me laugh. This is golf!

• Putting: Don't bother to practice putting. Putting in golf is overrated. I play golf maybe 200 times a year and I've yet to meet anyone who can putt. You either make it or you don't. If you miss, just keep putting until the ball goes in the hole. Simple.

• Seniors: As we age, our bodies react differently, so seniors must prepare for golf differently than young punks. An important thing to remember is that there is an inverse relationship of increased ear hair to laughably short drives off the tee.

So keep those ear hairs trim and neat. If you're proud of your thick mane of ear hair, don't sweat it. If you're short off the tee, you're probably small in other areas, and I think you know what I'm talking about.

• Excuses: A healthy psychological outlook is a must for Better Golf. If you can convince yourself that the snap hook you hit into the weeds over there is not your doing at all, you'll retain the confidence needed to excel in the game.

The first time you smack one of your all-too-typical lousy shots, turn to your playing partner and snarl," "Will you stop that!" Look at him, looking all hurt and everything. Who would have thought golf fitness could be so much fun?

• Torque development in the downswing: This is so important, I can barely contain myself. This is vital to any golfer who has ever wanted to improve his score. You could even say it is absolutely critical in terms of reaching your full potential as a golfer and knowing what it is to be truly human.

• Alignment and posture: Face the target squarely and stand erect, with your rump jutting out slightly. Feels a little silly, doesn't it? Can you think of another situation in life where you would position yourself in such an odd manner? I can't.

Gardner-Webb Slips Past Mountaineers in Second Annual University Cup

April 10 - MORGANTON, N.C.- Appalachian State University men and women's golf team hosted a mixed foursome match against Gardner-Webb in the second annual University Cup. The tournament was held at Mimosa Hills Country Club on Wednesday, April 9 with GWU winning by three points.

The Mountaineers fell to the Bulldogs by a 5.5 to 2.5 margin, as GWU captured five of the eight matches to grab the win.

Robert Quick matched with Kerri Dice and Casey Johnson matched with Brooke DeHart to combine for the two wins for the Mountaineers. Lance Wheeler and Mary Kate Bowman tied accounting for ASU's half point.

Appalachian returns to action on April 20 for the Southern Conference tournament, being held in Orangeburg, S.C. at the Country Club of South Carolina

Grove Park Vaults Into Top 100

For the first time in the 91-year history of The Grove Park Inn Resort & Spa, the resort’s golf course has cracked the prestigious Top 100 list of Best Golf Courses in North Carolina. The list is compiled each year by votes registered by the 135 member North Carolina Magazine Golf Panel. The ranking is released annually in the March issue of North Carolina magazine and includes all courses, public and private, and is one of the most respected surveys for the state’s courses. The Golf Course received 535 points placing it 69th in the state of North Carolina according to the Golf Panel. The Grove Park Inn Resort & Spa spent $2.5-million dollars to totally restore the resort’s layout back to its original Donald Ross design dating back to 1924. The new design was met with overwhelming praise from members, guests and media as it was named “Best Restoration” in the U.S. in 2002 by Golfweek magazine. The 69th ranking also places course among the N.C. Golf Panel’s “Mighty Ninety” with a rating of 4 ½ out of five stars. Broken down by region, The Golf Course ranks 9th in the Mountain Top 10 placing just behind Champion Hills in Hendersonville.

UNC Charlotte Ranked #4

NCAA Men's: Division I Teams

Division II - Division III

                                   Adjusted   Avg.            
                        Division   Scoring   Drop   Versus#  
   Team                  *Record   Average  Score   Top 25    Wins@
  1 Alabama, U. of        289-  0    71.32   76.99    23- 0      5
 2 Georgia, U. of        288-  1    71.35   76.45    19- 1      2
 3 UCLA                  287-  2    72.24   76.57    13- 2      2
 4 Charlotte             286-  3    71.34   75.37    16- 3      4
 5 Southern California   285-  4    72.64   76.80    15- 4      1
 6 Oklahoma State U.     281-  8    72.64   76.72    13- 6      1
 7 Georgia Tech          281-  8    72.09   77.98    11- 8      0
 8 Florida, U. of        280-  9    72.67   77.65    14- 9      1
 9 Stanford University   280-  9    72.41   76.88     8- 8      1
10 Tennessee, Univ. of   279- 10    72.25   77.01    12-10      2
11 Duke University       278- 11    72.70   76.99    11- 9      1
12 Florida State Univ.   277- 12    73.16   76.94    10-11      2
13 Auburn University     275- 14    71.88   76.17    10- 8      1
14 Wake Forest Univ.     275- 14    72.69   77.66     9-11      1
15 South Carolina        275- 14    72.61   77.51     9-12      1
16 Clemson University    271- 18    72.77   77.51     3-14      0
17 Mississippi, U. of    269- 20    72.50   78.53     4-10      4
18 UCF                   269- 20    73.04   78.55     5-18      1
19 Tenn.-Chattanooga     269- 20    71.92   76.40     2-13      2
20 UNLV                  269- 20    71.71   75.96     3-13      2
21 Indiana University    268- 21    73.39   77.62     4-13      1
22 UAB                   266- 23    72.69   77.87     6-11      1
23 Texas Tech Univ.      266- 23    72.69   77.31     3-15      3
24 Louisville, U. of     265- 24    72.92   77.42     6-10      1
25 Michigan State U.     264- 25    73.64   77.60     3-13      1 

Whitaker Earns Sponsor's Exemption For Winning UCF Challenge

ORLANDO, FLA. – Alison Whitaker of Duke has earned a sponsor’s exemption to the Ginn Tribute hosted by ANNIKA by winning the University of Central Florida (UCF) Challenge at RedTail Golf Club in Sorrento, Fla.

Whitaker, the Blue Devils’ sophomore from Melbourne, Australia, shot a score of 65-71-72=208 (-8) to win by two shots. She led wire-to-wire in route to her career-best finish and her first collegiate win.

“It is just so exciting to get the sponsor’s exemption,” said Whitaker. “I haven’t played in an LPGA event before and after playing in the NCAA Championships the week before it will be great preparation. I think two weeks back-to-back of high quality golf is more than I could ask for in terms of finishing off a semester at Duke. I am very excited about it.”

“It is a nice little bonus as I guess I picked the right tournament to win. It just means that my win will stretch out a little longer. Head Coach [Emily] Klein’s UCF Tournament needs to be recognized because it is run very well. She works very hard in conjunction with Annika and the Ginn Company to put together an excellent field and event.”

Tournament Director Becky Newell said, "We are extremely excited to have Alison included in our prestigious field. She is a talented player and this will be a great experience for her to compete with the best players in the world."

The $2.6 million Ginn Tribute hosted by ANNIKA will be played for the second-consecutive year at RiverTowne Country Club in Charleston, S.C., May 26-June 1, 2008. The 2007 Ginn Tribute hosted by ANNIKA saw Nicole Castrale earn her first LPGA title. Castrale defeated Lorena Ochoa in a sudden-death one-hole playoff to win the $390,000 paycheck.

About Annika
Annika is the greatest female golfer of our generation and often regarded as the best player in LPGA history. Her prestigious list of accomplishments includes her 2003 induction into the World Golf and LPGA Halls of Fame, ten Major Championships, 85 worldwide professional victories, eight LPGA Player of the Year Awards, and participation on eight Solheim Cup teams. Annika has worked hard on her off-the-course businesses, which include the ANNIKA Academy, the ANNIKA Foundation, the ANNIKA Collection with Cutter & Buck, numerous golf course design projects, tournaments she hosts on both the LPGA and Ladies European Tours, along with her website and blog.

About Ginn Resorts
Ginn Resorts is a privately-held resort development and management firm specializing exclusive leisure lifestyle and vacation destination communities. The firm owns and operates communities across the United States and the Caribbean. Headquartered in Celebration, Fla., the firm’s principals have more than three decades of experience in creating large-scale, master-planned resorts and recreation-oriented communities. For more information, visit www.ginnresorts.com.

WCU finishes 6th in Cuthbert Cup

Kiawah Island, S.C. – Inclement weather which moved across the Eastern seaboard and prompted tournament officials to change the start on Tuesday forced the cancellation of the third round of the Cuthbert Cup, leaving second-round leaders as the event champions. Host College of Charleston claimed the women’s team championship while UNC Wilmington was declared the men’s champion.

Western Carolina, which slipped from leading in the first round on the men’s side and standing in second on the women’s, finished sixth in both tournaments to open the spring portion of the schedule.

The Catamount men ranked second in both par 3 and par 5 scoring for the tournament, shooting 4-over on the shortest holes and 8-under on the longest. WCU was also third in birdies with a combined 34.

College of Charleston Golfers tie for Medalists at Cuthbert Cup

SPARTANBURG, S.C. – College of Charleston golfers Steffi Kirchmayr and Courtney Brink tied for medalist honors at the Cuthbert Cup and have been named Southern Conference co-golfers of the week for all events played through February 26.

A sophomore from Pocking, Germany, Kirchmayr fired a two-round total of 142 with 70 in the opening round and 72 in the second. Her performance was equaled by Brink, who carded an opening-round 69. The sophomore from Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., followed that with a 71 in round two, leading the Cougars to the team championship in the inaugural Cuthbert Cup in Kiawah Island, S.C.

Other top performances were turned in by Samantha Widmer of Elon, Erica Creed of UNC Greensboro and Desire Karlsson of Western Carolina.